HOW did this happen?!

Our journey began in 2005 when we felt an urgent need to leave the East Coast, more specifically, West Creek, NJ, for a number of various reasons. We searched online for what seemed like forever to find a house located in Illinois, Missouri, or Iowa. As luck? would have it, we stumbled across this one, made the offer, sight unseen, set the closing date, loaded with a pickup truck and two separate U-hauls, we took the plunge. Once we closed on our "dreamhouse" we continued driving an overflowing pickup truck and bulging U-haul to a place called Sheffield, IA, which looked like a bunch of houses stuck somewhere in the middle of a corn field! Hello, people? We are from the city. Can someone please tell me where is the mall? McDonald's? Taco Bell? Anything? Nothing. Well, nothing, but our "dream" home. Oh, wait, that wasn't a dream, that was a nightmare! Well, so here we are in Franklin County, Iowa, Sheffield, proper.